I’ve always considered myself at the very least competent in a great many things. Furniture assembly for instance. Sure, this little red rolly shelf thingy has a bent top part, but hey it got ASSEMBLED. And it rolls around like a motherfucker, so I count that as a win. Competent, not good, but I’ll do. Also, I’m competent at sleeping (cause sometimes I just have to lie there for hours), singing (as long as it’s not Bon Jovi, or anybody with… talent), creating large cardboard cubes (they stick together, and that is what matters), organizing things (when I’m motivated, which is like, once a year), cooking (the microwave just makes my awesome dishes get hot faster), and many other things. Hell, I might even be called ‘good’ at some things (Um… let’s just move on).
HOWEVER. There is one thing that I am not, nor will I ever be even the least bit competent in. That thing, dear reader (readers?), is that is sports. Or rather, anything that requires more than “below average” physical strain. It’s not for lack of trying too. I remember I first tried playing baseball. And my first time at bat, the jackass pitcher threw the ball right into my fucking face (in my mind, I’ve named him Steve, and he sucks). Oh, I also tried badminton once. But I couldn’t stop laughing because the coach’s head looked exactly like one of the shuttlecocks. I was supposed to start basketball lessons as a kid too, but my parents pulled me out because I kept oversleeping. I learned how to not drown when I took swimming, but then I got discouraged when the teacher yelled at me while I was pretending to be a Poliwrath, yelling “BUBBLEBEAM” every time we did that breathing underwater thing.
Anyway, the point is I was never good at sports, because well, I never LIKED sports. Why? It’s all a matter of preferences. I hated baseball. Steve probably loved baseball. Whenever whatever training bullshit we were doing ended, it was truly a relief for me. There’s no reason for it. Just… not my thing. Besides, it’s not like there are any repercussions to not being physically active, right?