Monthly Archives: February 2011

For a Moment

Now, no matter what race you are, what language you speak (probably English if you’re reading this), where you live, blablabla, there’s one thing we all have in common. We all love complaining. It’s not a bad thing, really. It’s as much a part of us as breathing, and as much of a hobby as collecting stamps or whatever.

In fact, complaining is one of our -favorite- hobbies, below watching other people piss each other off. Number one of course, being pissing other people off (only when they don’t know we’re trying to piss them off of course). Don’t deny it, we all complain. A lot. None of us are MATURE. Sure, we can act like that around other people, but in the depths of your head, where you know all the truth is, you actually DO hate the guy with those lame shoes.

So you see aforementioned guy in the lame shoes. Maybe they’re made of gold, and are reflecting light into your eyes. Maybe he’s also wearing a hat. A huge top hat, with a beer-drinking apparatus attached to it. And the hat is bright green. Oh, maybe he also has on a shirt that says “I’m too sexy for my shirt.” You can already tell, he would take it off if he wasn’t in public, because he’s just that vain. Now what do you do about the gold shoed, top hat wearing, beer drinking, shirt sexxing son of a bitch (Henceforth referred to as “DoucheBob”)? Do you go up to him and tell him to take off his +11 Jackassery Hat, share his beer, and donate his gold shoes to some orphan whose silver one are too tight? No. You complain. Either to yourself (I hate that guy), or to somebody else (“Hey, look at that guy. I totally hate him.”). You wish he was dead too, because the world would be a much better place with one less person like him.

But given the chance, would you actually kill him? Well, probably not because that would be murder. But would you kill ALL of the people like him, knowing it would help the whole world? No, because that would be genocide. Then again, it isn’t all about ethics. Like I said, complaining is a hobby. Even a form of entertainment. After all, it’s a lot of fun to feel superior, isn’t it? So if all the assholes go away, we would be very bored indeed. With nothing to complain about, we would waste our time thinking of well… nothing at all. We would complain about that for a while, but it would get old. Not to mention, with nothing to complain about, we would stop coming up with good ideas. There would be no poems. No novels. No art. Because what else does creativity come from if not hatred? I guess assholes are more important that we thought.

But still… I hate that guy. You know the one.