All the Titles are Arbitrary

Whenever I’m walking somewhere, and I have my laptop with me, I  always have to adjust the strap of my laptop bag every once in a while, hike it up my shoulder. There are two reasons for this. First, because if I didn’t adjust it, it would keep falling, and my laptop would break, and that would cost me a lot of money. And I have no money. The second, and much more important reason is because I’m pretending that the strap is the World Heavyweight Championship, and I have to keep moving it around because that’s always what the champion does when he’s headed out to the ring like a cocky son of a bitch. It’s always been a dream of mine to win it, see. Not a dream that I would actually work to achieve, but one that just sits in my head and makes boring things (like walking) a bit more fun.

And that’s only one of the things I do to try to make life less… life-y. There are a whole lot more that I would really rather not get into, but they all play their parts to make sure I get out of bed, and do whatever it is I need to do that day. Why am I sharing this? Well precisely because I’m bored and am pretending that the whole internet will care. That’ll get me through the next life-y hour, I think.

Side note: This is the first time I’ve typed a whole entry that the spellchecker found no problem with. Yes, I am extremely proud of this.


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